Day 282.

Monica. Acrylic on canvas by F L Campbell

Bush eggs: one. Nest box eggs: none. Feed hopper: full.

I was thinking about what Ella said about her topknot being of Polish origin. Monica, who lived with us for a short and fraught time a while back, was purebred Polish and about as stupid as a chicken can get. To add to her halfwit woes she had this huge topknot that draped over her eyes so effectively that she couldn’t see. She used to navigate back to the chicken house by doing ever-bigger circles until she bumped into the fence of the chicken run, then she would follow the fence line until she found the door. If any large thing hovered over her she would assume it was a rooster and squat in coquettish submission, which made her extremely easy to catch. This is why it was no problem for The Female Person to catch her and give her lots of pats (which wasn’t so bad) and then to catch her and Send her Away. I have to say I don’t miss her much. I did hear gossip about her coming to a sticky end when she felt the presence of something hovering over her, squatted in her unseemly way, and had her head ripped off by a cat that had been lurking in a tree. Honestly, what a fashion victim. At least Camilla can still see perfectly well with her topknot (and she doesn’t squat like a tart.)

A poem about Monica by Ruby
Monica of the big hairdo
Your eyesight is totally screwed
And it might be the end of you.
Oops too late
You’re cat bait!


Cruel and yet hilarious…